Increased Aid for Pakistan?- Are you fucking mad?

Why the hell are we giving more aid to Pakistan? They're supporting the Taleban killing our troops over the border so we're giving them more cash for guns. Don't give me that bollocks about increasing education. The corrupt bastards at the top will soon cream that off.

If Cameron wants a Big Society, he'd better start by taking more care with our overseas aid. We're losing jobs over here and funding terrorism over there. The Taleban must be laughing their fucking turbans off.

Merlene Ottey- What a Legend

I've been in love with Merlene Ottey for decades so I'm delighted that she's running for Slovenia at the European Championships in the relay. I spend a lot of time here slagging off second-raters so it's nice to change tack and pay respects to a legend.

She's 50 years old and still able to make a championship team. What an inspiration.

Good luck gorgeous and please keep going until London 2012.

Khyra Ishaq's father is a twat

Ishaq Abuzaire, Khyra's father, is getting a lot of publicity as he slags off social services for letting his daughter starve to death. I have one simple question. Where the fuck was he while his girl was being brutalised and starved?

He has no right to call himself a father and should be hiding his stupid face in shame rather than ponce about on tv blaming others for his neglect.

He wears his religious hat but shows his true character by what he does not what he wears. His daughter's death is as much his fault as anyone else's.

Abu Hamza - Here to Stay (for now)

The European Court of Human Rights are the biggest bunch of shits known to man (after jihadists, obviously). They won't let us send Abu Cocksucker Hamza to the US to be tried for hate crimes.

Instead we're stuck with the dole-scrounging one-eyed, hook-handed 'cleric'. How do you get to be a Muslim cleric anyway?

He's taking the piss big-time but rest-assured the authorities will find a way to get him.

Theresa May - Gay Asylum Seekers

Theresa May has got her own way with the Supreme High Court ruling that we don't have to send gays back to their countries of origin. Fantastic, now we'll get an influx of gay muslims and Africans. We'll be too scared to bend over in the street soon.

I suppose it'll slow down the immigrant baby boom though.

Raoul Moat - What a Cunt

It's a pity we have to share breathing space with cunts like Raoul Moat. He beats his girlfriend, fights in pubs and takes drugs to artificially build his muscle. What a fucking sweetheart.

No wonder his bird decided to spread her legs for someone else. The poor girl needed someone who actually cared for her. She looks really pretty so what did she see in such an ugly twat? He does body-building so he can't have much of a dick.

Any girls out there in similar relationships, please get out of it now.

I hope the police shoot Moat in his tiny nuts and then lock him up for a hundred years where he's butt-fucked daily by a gay drug-dealer.

Pope's Expensive visit to Birmingham

The Pope's visit to Birmingham is now priced at £12m? Jesus Fucking H Christ. Where's he staying? How many of his boyfriends are coming with him?

I know we've got to make a stand against the Muslims but this is too expensive. Can't he stay at the Holiday Inn or something?

There'd be an uproar if Brummie council taxpayers were funding some jumped-up Imam's trip so why should it be different for Il Papa?

He's fucking German!